Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
