so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
