Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
