last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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