we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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