No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
