We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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