not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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