I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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