ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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