Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to calm my uterus...
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