If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
