Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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