She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
