I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
