Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
