Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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