He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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