Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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