I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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