Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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