Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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