it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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