Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
