No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
