Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
