Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
