Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
