Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
