We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
