dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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