I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
