a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
