YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
