Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
