i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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