where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
