Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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