Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
