There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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