Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
