I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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