dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
