Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
