I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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