He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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