i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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