I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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