HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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