how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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